List of Mind Your Language episodes

This is a list of episodes of the British comedy Mind Your Language.

Overview

Series		Episodes	Premiere	Finale
	1	13	30 December 1977	23 March 1978
	2	8	5 October 1978	23 November 1978
	3	8	25 October 1979	20 December 1979
	4	13	30 September 1985	31 December 1985

Series 1

Episode	Title	Original airdate
01	"The First Lesson"	30 December 1977
Jeremy Brown starts his new job as the teacher of English as a foreign language class, and meets his students for the first time. A diverse group of ten foreign adult students in London, hailing from nine different countries in Europe and Asia. The Europeans consist of two au pairs, the young, flirtatious and beautiful Danielle (from France) and prim and proper Anna (from West Germany); two young single men, Giovanni (from Italy) and Max (from Greece); and a laid-back middle-aged bartender, Juan (from Spain), who speaks no English. The Asians consist of Su-Lee, a revolutionary-minded secretary from the Chinese Embassy, who is a staunch follower of Chairman Mao's teachings; Taro, a Japanese businessman, as well as three students from South Asia: Ranjeet, a devout Punjabi Sikh; Ali, an unemployed Pakistani Muslim; and Jamila, an Urdu-speaking housewife who cannot speak any English. The school principal, Miss Courtney, nearly dismisses Mr Brown immediately as she had requested a female teacher, but she gives in and he is allowed to stay on a trial basis.
02	"An Inspector Calls"	5 January 1978
An education inspector arrives at the school to observe the classes, but Mr Brown mistakes him for a new African foreign student. The inspector plays along and sits in his class pretending to be a student and in the end is very impressed with Mr Brown's teaching methods.
03	"A Fate Worse Than Death"	12 January 1978
Ranjeet asks Mr Brown to help him escape an arranged marriage with Surinder, his father's best friend's daughter, which was arranged 20 years ago. The 10-year-old Surinder was beautiful as a tender bamboo shoot, but she has become so fat that Ranjeet would rather commit suicide than marry her. He eventually escapes the marriage, but Mr Brown in turn is pressured to marry Surinder instead. He writes a letter explaining to Surinder's father why he cannot marry her, but her father is not at all pleased when he reads it.
04	"All Through the Night"	19 January 1978
Concerned that his students' English is not improving, Mr Brown keeps them after class -- so late that they get locked in the building.
05	"The Best Things in Life"	26 January 1978
Jamila is arrested for shoplifting a magazine due to her misunderstanding the term "free" in promotional material. However, Mr Brown and Ali later discover that Jamila has shoplifted many other items in the past. Mr Brown and his students then work together to return the stolen items without being noticed.
06	"Come Back All Is Forgiven"	2 February 1978
It is Mr Brown's birthday and everyone in the class has brought him a present. However, it is not all happy returns when Miss Courtney informs Mr Brown that his trial month is over and she is not satisfied with his teaching. However, she finds out that the new teacher is taking over the school, so she dismisses her and brings Mr Brown back.
07	"The Cheating Game"	9 February 1978
In order to see how prepared they are for their upcoming exam, the students prepare to take a mock exam. When the students make a lot of mistakes in class and see that their teacher has no faith in them, they decide to cheat in order to ace the exam and fake their progress.
08	"Better to Have Loved and Lost"	16 February 1978
Ali and Su-Lee surprise the class when they announce that they are to marry. Mr Brown gets a much bigger shock when he finds out that Ali is already married and plans to take Su-Lee as his second wife. Ali informs Mr Brown that Su-Lee knows about his first wife and the fact that he was marrying her to have a child. Later, Ali's first wife informs him that she is pregnant. Su-Lee also does not want to marry him anymore, so they decide to cancel the wedding.
09	"Kill or Cure"	23 February 1978
Mr Brown becomes ill and cannot come to class, so Miss Courtney takes charge. The students' English is not up to her expectations, so she sends some of them away and tells Anna to take over the class. Anna then sends the rest of the students home for the same reason. They all visit Mr Brown at his flat, each with their own 'remedy' to make him feel better.
10	"Hello Sailor"	2 March 1978
Juan brings his Russian sailor friend Boris, who has come to England to escape Russia, to Mr Brown's class. Boris explains that he wants to stay in England to be with his English girlfriend. Everything seems to be going all right until the captain of a Russian ship comes to the classroom to take his roaming sailor home - and says that Boris has a wife in Russia but the captain wants to defect as he falls in love with Miss Courtney.
11	"A Point of Honour"	10 March 1978
Mr Brown finds himself in a lot of trouble when Danielle tells Mr Jarvis, a pestering Irish woodwork teacher at the school, that she is engaged to Mr Brown. Mr Brown soon finds himself running around the school in an attempt to quash the false rumour, only to leave wrong impressions and ending up in the school gymnasium to box against the philandering teacher. He is able to win it because Max and Giovanni tie Mr Jarvis' shoelaces together, causing him to fall over.
12	"How's Your Father"	17 March 1978
At the beginning of the lesson, Mr Brown asks the students to speak aloud for one minute each on various topics. The class learns that Taro's childhood was very lonely because his parents died when he was a child. Mr Brown sympathises by telling the class how he was left on the front steps of an orphanage in Jeremy Street when he was two weeks old on Easter Monday - nearly 30 years ago - and therefore grew up without any parents as well. Sid tells Mr Brown that he left his baby at an orphanage on an Easter Monday, which makes Mr Brown assume that Sid is his father. He later realises that he cannot be Sid's son when Sid tells him that the baby he abandoned was a girl.
13	"The Examination"	24 March 1978
The students prepare to take their Lower Cambridge Certificate exam at the end of the first term. Mr Brown has a disagreement with a couple in the bar which comes back to haunt him when it turns out that the man will be supervising the exam.

Series 2

Episode	Title	Original Airdate
14	"All Present If Not Correct"	7 October 1978
At the start of the new school year, Mr Brown has two new students, Zoltán from Hungary (who speaks no English) and au pair Ingrid from Stockholm. Mr Brown and Miss Courtney are disappointed that all ten of his students from last year failed their exams and have returned to his class; she tells him that if he does not improve, she will dismiss him. Zoltán asks Mr Brown to write a letter to his girlfriend. Mr Brown wrongly believes that he has won £100,000 on Premium Bonds, and writes an insulting letter of resignation to Miss Courtney. He mistakenly gives the letters to the wrong people. As a result, Ms Courtney wrongly believes that Zóltan is in love with her and Zoltán's girlfriend beats him up.
15	"Queen for a Day!"	14 October 1978
It is announced that the Queen will be visiting the school, and Miss Courtney gets over-excited about the event. The students wear their national costumes. The visit is cancelled without anyone at the school being told. A woman who looks and speaks like the Queen is looking for her husband who is a student there. She is mistaken for the Queen.
16	"Brief Re-encounter"	21 October 1978
Albert Collins, who was Miss Courtney's fiancé 25 years ago, phones her at the school then visits her there later that day. He proposes to her, then asks to borrow money from her - which she accepts. Sid recognises him as a conman who was in prison with Sid's brother-in-law and tells Mr Brown that Albert's speciality is to propose to lonely women then flee with their money. Mr Brown tells Ms Courtney about Albert. Mr Brown, backed-up by his male students, see that Albert leaves for good.
17	"Many Happy Returns"	28 October 1978
Ranjeet has been saving up his money to visit his mother in India as a surprise for her sixtieth birthday. He hands £230 cash in an envelope to Mr Brown for safe keeping, but Mr Brown accidentally drops it in front of the school later that day. Sid picks it up and puts £100 of it on a horse to win a race. The horse wins, but is disqualified. The students, along with Mr Brown and Sid, make £100 in the street in various ways in order to replace what Sid lost. Ranjeet flies to India; soon afterwards his mother arrives in his class, intending to surprise him.
18	"Don't Forget the Driver"	4 November 1978
Mr Brown and his students go on a field trip to a stately home. They are travelling on a coach which Sid is driving. They are stranded in the countryside when the coach breaks down due to it running out of petrol. Sid obtains some petrol from a local farm and they continue. They arrive late, so the Earl who owns it sends them away. They become lost on the way back. They work out where they are, but then realise that the coach has a punctured tyre.
19	"A Hard Days Night"	11 November 1978
The students are in their classroom playing darts badly while waiting for Mr Brown. Miss Courtney comes into the room and is disappointed with the students' lack of progress. Mr Brown arrives and tells the class that he is having his flat painted and has to find elsewhere to stay tonight. He initially decides to stay at the YMCA, but after Giovanni and Max offer to let him stay at their flat, he goes there. He goes onto the balcony, and Max, not realising he is out there, locks the door. Mr Brown cannot re-enter, so he tries to pick the lock. A neighbour phones to report him; the police arrest him and take him to the police station, while the rest of the students have arrived at Max and Giovanni's. Sid is brought in, having been arrested for being drunk and disorderly. Jeremy asks Sid to verify his identity, but he is too drunk to recognise him. Max and Giovanni arrive and verify Mr Brown's identity and the fact that he is staying at their flat. The police release Mr Brown without charge and he goes back to Max and Giovanni's with them. The other students are pleased to see him return and then leave in pairs. Mr Brown locks the door to the balcony, not realising that Max and Giovanni are there. The same neighbour phones the police about them. Mr Brown lets Max and Giovanni in, then is arrested. He is taken to the police station, where he is put in a cell with Sid.
20	"Take Your Partners"	18 November 1978
Miss Courtney coerces Mr Brown to buy two tickets to a charity dance. Anna, Ingrid and Danielle want to be his partner, so Mr Brown has them decide amongst themselves which of them will he will dance with; they choose Anna. Gladys and Miss Courtney both pressure him to take them. He therefore takes Anna, Gladys and Miss Courtney - taking turns in dancing with each.
21	"After Three"	25 November 1978
The class have to prepare for the school's talent show. The students individually do various performances in class in front of Mr Brown and Miss Courtney. They are all rejected due to being very inadequate and/or unsuitable. During the show, the class instead sing the Mind Your Language opening theme together, dressed in their traditional outfits.

Series 3

Episode	Title	Original airdate
22	"I Belong To Glasgow"	28 October 1979
Max and Giovanni bring in their new cockatoo in its cage. Danielle tells Mr Brown that she is dating five men, and that she sees one on each weekday. Mr Brown tells Miss Courtney that Ingrid and Zoltan have not arrived. She tells him that Zoltan wrote to her to tell her that he has moved back to Hungary. An affluent Arab Sheikh enrols his Scottish chauffeur in Mr Brown's class, due to not being able to understand the Scots language which he speaks. Miss Courtney initially refuses to take a new student midway through a course, but changes her mind when the Sheikh gives her £2,000. The new Glaswegian student causes trouble for everyone in the class due to his obnoxious, hostile, confrontational attitude. Mr Brown refuses to continue teaching him, so he teaches Scots to the Sheikh on his own instead.
23	"Who Loves Ya Baby?"	3 November 1979
Au pair Danielle brings her boss' 9-month-old baby to school in his pram. Gladys suggests that she leave him the canteen, which she does. Gladys tells Sid, but when the baby and pram go missing, he tells Danielle. Miss Courtney assumes the baby is the son of one of the students, who abandoned him. Miss Courtney tells Mr Brown that she found the baby and pram and leaves him in her office with Mr Brown whilst she finds out who the baby belongs to. Danielle tells Miss Courtney that he is the son of the couple whom she works for. Gladys takes the baby out of the pram whilst Mr Brown is out of the room. When Mr Brown returns with Sid, they are horrified that the baby is missing. On Sid's suggestion, Mr Brown goes onto the window ledge to look for the baby. Miss Courtney sees Gladys holding the baby in the corridor, collects the pram, closes the window and gives the pram to Gladys. Mr Brown cannot find the baby, and twice narrowly avoids falling to the ground. Gladys meets Sid in the corridor, and they explain what has happened. Danielle takes the baby and pram into the classroom. Mr Brown knocks on the classroom window and is let in by Giovanni.
24	"No Flowers By Request"	10 November 1979
Juan suffers abdominal pain and is taken to hospital, accompanied by Mr Brown. At the hospital, Mr Brown falls down some stairs, breaking his left leg, and is admitted to hospital. Juan returns to class, where Miss Courtney is covering for Mr Brown. When Juan telephones the hospital, a miscommunication results in a nurse telling Juan that Mr Brown has died. The students go to the funeral, not realising that it was another patient, also named Mr Brown, who had died. Mr Brown arrives at school in a wheelchair, his leg in plaster, shocking Sid and Miss Courtney. Sid pushes Mr Brown to the funeral, where the students are delighted to see Mr Brown, who explains the misunderstanding. Sid lets go of Mr Brown's wheelchair whilst on a steep hill. Mr Brown rolls down the hill and falls into an empty grave, breaking his right leg and left arm. He is re-admitted to hospital, where his students give him the flowers that they were going to put on his grave.
25	"Just the Job"	17 November 1979
Mr English, the principal of a language school, visits. He offers Mr Brown a better-paid job, having been recommended him by Ingrid. Mr Brown leaves the same day, only to learn when he arrives that the vacancy no longer exists. He tries to return to his old position, but finds that it has been filled by Mr Wilkins. Giovanni suggests to the students that they all act stupidly, so that Mr Wilkins quits. The plan works and Mr Brown returns to his old position.
26	"Guilty or Not Guilty"	24 November 1979
All the students are brought to court together for causing various acts of mischief at different places in London. Miss Courtney oversees the session as one of the magistrates, while Mr Brown acts as their barrister. They are all acquitted, and leave the court. As Mr Brown is about to get into his car, a policeman stops him because his Vehicle Excise Duty has expired.
27	"Repent At Leisure"	1 December 1979
Miss Courtney gives Mr Brown a tape recorder to help his students improve their pronunciation. Anna's au pair visa is set to expire. The others think that she should marry Mr Brown to become a British citizen. They fail to persuade him to, but there is no need when she finds out that she is allowed to continue living in the UK. Mr Brown is relieved, but then her East German friend wants to marry him.
28	"The School Fete"	8 December 1979
The school holds a fete, and Max is held responsible for hiring Arthur Mullard.
29	"What a Tangled Web"	15 December 1979
Ali suspects that his wife is having an affair. Mr Brown follows her and discovers that she is going to Ranjeet's house. It is shortly revealed that Ali's wife is secretly planning to throw a surprise party for Ali with the help of Ranjeet. Ali's wife arrive with Ranjeet to the school to meet Mr Brown and he advices her that humans tend to make mistake and get over it (the affair). She misunderstood that Ali was having an affair with another woman and chaos ensues.

Series 4

The fourth series was created by TRI Films LTD and first aired on TSW in late 1985, and some other ITV regions during 1986, but has yet to be released on DVD.

Episode	Title	Original Airdate: TSW
30	"Never Say Die"	30 September 1985
Can Mr Brown cope with the new batch of students?
31	"Too Many Cooks"	7 October 1985
Two crooks rob Ranjeet's cousin's shop when he is in-charge. To evade capture, they hide in the school.
32	"Easy Come Easy Go"	14 October 1985
The students have seven draws on the football pools and stand to win thousands of pounds if they get one more draw.
33	"Fifty Years On"	21 October 1985
On her birthday, Miss Courtney finds a mink coat that Ingrid bought for the lady she's au pairing with in her office, and mistakes it for her birthday present. Mr Brown has to get the coat back before Ingrid loses her job, and give Miss Courtney her actual present - an engraved wind-up clock - instead. However, when Miss Courtney starts receiving threatening letters from an unknown sender and hears ticking coming from a box on her desk, she assumes the worst.
34	"Time and Tide"	28 October 1985
Mr. Brown finds himself in deep water when he takes the students down the River Thames to improve their knowledge of English history.
35	"Ghoulies and Ghosties"	4 November 1985
Mr Brown scoffs at the suggestion that the school is haunted.
36	"Mama Mia"	11 November 1985
Giovanni's mother visits him at the school.
37	"A Rash Decision"	18 November 1985
Mr Brown and all the students catch a rash and fever. They are admitted to a quarantine ward.
38	"Wedding Fever"	25 November 1985
Romance is in the air! Juan and Maria have fallen madly in love and arrange to be married by special licence at the nearby Catholic Church. But when Juan gets himself accidentally locked in the school the night before the wedding, it begins to look as if Maria will be left waiting at the church.
39	"Everybody's Out"	2 December 1985
There is discontent when the students form their own union.
40	"The First Lady"	9 December 1985
Mr Brown is suffering from flu and has a bizarre dream involving destruction at the school. When he returns to school he finds his dream has become a nightmare.
41	"Teacher's Pet"	16 December 1985
Mr Brown brings his neighbour's dog to class.
42	"End of Term"	31 December 1985
The school is closed. Miss Courtney is busy preparing for a European tour when Mr Brown and the students arrive at the school to find out how they have fared in their examinations.

External links

• List of Mind Your Language episodes at TV.com
• Mind Your Language – list of episodes at IMDb