Stay Together for the Kids

"Stay Together for the Kids" is a song recorded by American rock band Blink-182 for their fourth studio album, Take Off Your Pants and Jacket (2001). It was released as the third and final single from the album on February 19, 2002. The track was composed primarily by guitarist Tom DeLonge, who based its lyrics on his parents' divorce and its effect on him.

"Stay Together For the Kids"
Single by Blink-182
from the album Take Off Your Pants and Jacket
ReleasedFebruary 19, 2002
RecordedJanuary–March 2001[1]
Signature Sound
(San Diego, California)
Larrabee Studios West, Cello Studios
(Hollywood, California)
Genre
Length3:59
LabelMCA
Songwriter(s)
Producer(s)Jerry Finn
Blink-182 singles chronology
"First Date"
(2001)		 "Stay Together For the Kids"
(2002)		 "I Won't Be Home for Christmas"
(2002)

The song's original music video, directed by Samuel Bayer, depicts the band performing in a home being destroyed by a wrecking ball in a metaphor for divorce. The clip was re-shot following the 9/11 attacks, with both the band and label deeming its imagery too similar to the collapse of the World Trade Center.

The song received positive reviews from contemporary music critics, who praised its tone. It was a hit on rock radio in the United States, where it peaked at number seven on the Modern Rock Tracks chart in 2001.

Background
Tom DeLonge, the song's primary lyricist, seen here in the early 1990s.

"Stay Together for the Kids" is written about divorce from the point of view of a helpless child.[4] Its heavier sound was inspired by bands the group's members were listening to in the two weeks they wrote their fourth album, Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, such as Fugazi and Refused.[5] Primarily written by guitarist Tom DeLonge, the song is biographical in nature. He and bassist Mark Hoppus were growing up when their respective parents divorced.[5] For Hoppus, he was eight years old when he was sent to live with his father. "The thing you realize as you get older is that parents don’t know what the hell they’re doing and neither will you when you get to be a parent. You’ve just got to understand that people are human and they make mistakes," he said.[6] DeLonge remembered learning of his parents' divorce when he discovered scrape marks on the driveway of their home. "Right then, I knew my dad had dragged out his furniture single-handedly," he recalled.[7] He spoke on the song's inspiration in 2001:

I lived, ate, and breathed skateboarding. All I did all day long was skateboard. It was all I cared about. So I didn't notice too much [else going on]. When I got home [one] day, my dad's furniture was gone, my mom was inside crying and everything just erupted at that point. I was 18, sitting in my driveway when it all went down. My whole family life was deteriorating, so, I just moved out. So I just took everything from that day and put it into a song.[6][8]

Due to its tone and subject matter, it is considered one of the band's darker songs,[8][9] alongside "Adam's Song", their 2000 single revolving around suicide.[10] Hoppus told an interviewer at the time of the album's release that "There's always a song or two where we really try to really push ourselves [...] On this new record I think we've done a lot of different stuff that people wouldn't ever expect from us. [...] On the new one, it's 'Stay Together for the Kids.'"[5] DeLonge later confirmed he had received emails from fans thanking him for the song's message. "With "Stay Together", we get emails—just kid after kid after kid—saying, 'I know exactly what you're talking about! That song is about my life!'"[11] In 2002, divorce statistics were four times higher than their average just over thirty years prior, with over 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce.[11] "You look at statistics that 50 percent of parents get divorced, and you’re going to get a pretty large group of kids who are pissed off and who don’t agree with what their parents have done," said DeLonge.[7] "Stay Together" was the final song completed during the recording sessions; it was created one day before the album was handed off to the mixing engineer.[12]

Composition

"Stay Together for the Kids" is set in the time signature of common time, with a tempo of 72 beats per minute. It is composed in the key of D major with vocals spanning the tonal nodes of A3 to B5.[13][14] Hoppus and DeLonge split vocals on the song, with the former handling verses and the latter singing the choruses.[10] In the verses, the lyrics detail a marriage gone awry: "Rather than fix the problems/They never solve them/It makes no sense at all." The song fades out with DeLonge singing "It’s not right."[10]

Commercial performance

"Stay Together for the Kids" was released as a single and EP with live tracks and video extras.[15] It debuted on Billboard's Modern Rock Tracks chart in the issue dated September 22, 2001 at number 36,[16] before gradually rising to a peak of position seven in the issue dated November 24, 2001.[17] The single spent 26 weeks on the chart as a whole,[18] before appearing for the last time in the issue dated March 16, 2002.[19] It also peaked at number 16 and spent five weeks on the Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles chart, which documents top singles that have yet to chart on the main chart, the Billboard Hot 100.[20] By June 2002, the song had accumulated over 80,000 spins on radio in the United States, and it received a BDS Certified Spin Award.[21] Outside of the US, the song charted in Germany, where it reached a peak of 73.[22]

Reception

"Stay Together for the Kids" received positive reviews from contemporary music critics. Rob Sheffield of Rolling Stone deemed the song "bleak," describing it as a "broken-family snapshot."[23] Eric Aiese of Billboard wrote that the song "remains compelling throughout," suggesting it could be a "MacArthur Park" or "Hey Jude" within the band’s catalogue.[10] Slant Magazine's Aaron Scott called it "the best track on the album," writing, "The surprising content about a marriage that is resisting divorce will certainly appeal to a generation of youth subjected to a massive divorce epidemic. Blink hints at something here, but resists saying anything concrete."[24]

William Shaw of Blender compared the song to then-popular songs by rock bands about divorce, such as Papa Roach ("Broken Home"), Staind ("For You") and Nickelback ("Too Bad"), commenting, "The ’90s had Generation X — have we ended up with Generation Whine?" He interviewed DeLonge, who remarked in response to divorce's effect on children, "Is this a damaged generation? Yeah, I’d say so."[7]

Music video

The first music video for "Stay Together for the Kids" was directed by Samuel Bayer, best known for his work with Metallica and Nirvana.[25] In the clip, Blink-182 perform in a suburban home that is destroyed with a wrecking ball in a metaphor for a "crumbling marriage." The video opens with a statistic, claiming that "50 percent of American households are destroyed by divorce."[26]

The band filmed the music video on September 9–10, 2001 in Los Angeles, in days preceding the 9/11 terrorist attacks.[27][28]:87 Following those events, the band and its label MCA felt the clip’s images were "too evocative" of the footage of the collapse of the World Trade Center.[29] The band ended up recording a second video for this song with the same production crew,[28]:90 with the setting changed to an empty mansion populated by shouting teens.[25]

The two videos were first released on The Urethra Chronicles II: Harder Faster Faster Harder, a 2002 home video on the band.[30] The first video has since widely become available online on sites like YouTube.[26]

Cover versions

The song is played on acoustic guitar by a soldier in the War in Afghanistan near the end of the film Restrepo (2010).[31]

Ambient artist B.E.N covered the song on his Blink 182 tribute album "Benema of the State."

Track listing

All tracks are written by Blink-182.

Single track listing
No.TitleLength
1."Stay Together for the Kids"3:59
2."The Rock Show" (Live in Chicago)3:06
3."Anthem Part Two" (Live in Chicago)3:47
4."First Date" (Video)3:17
EP track listing
No.TitleLength
1."Stay Together for the Kids"3:59
2."The Rock Show" (Live in Chicago)3:06
3."Anthem Part Two" (Live in Chicago)3:47
4."First Date" (Live in Chicago)3:28
5."Carousel" (Live in Chicago)2:55
6."First Date" (Video)3:17
7."Stay Together for the Kids" (Video)3:50

Charts
Chart (2001–02) Peak
position
Germany (Official German Charts)[22] 73
Switzerland (Schweizer Hitparade)[32] 85
US Modern Rock Tracks (Billboard)[18] 7
US Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles (Billboard)[33] 16

References

Footnotes
  1. Take Off Your Pants and Jacket (2013 Vinyl Reissue) (liner notes). Blink-182. US: Geffen / Universal Music Special Markets. 2013. SRC025/SRC026/SRC027/SRC028.CS1 maint: others (link)
  2. "22 emo songs that helped you through your high-school breakup". Mashable. 5 February 2015. Retrieved April 5, 2015.
  3. Nickoloff, Anne (August 23, 2016). "15 pop-punk songs that will give you the feels". Alternative Press. Retrieved August 23, 2016.
  4. Greg Heller (June 2001). "All the Big Things". Alternative Press. No. 155. Alternative Magazines Inc. pp. 56–64. ISSN 1065-1667.
  5. Geoff Boucher (June 10, 2001). "A Really Great Song Needs Angst and Humor". Los Angeles Times. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  6. Jenny Everett (Fall 2001). "Blink-182 Cordially Invites You To Take Them Seriously". MH-18. Rodale Press. p. 81.
  7. William Shaw (August 2002). "Why Are America's Rock Bands So Goddamned Angry?". Blender. Archived from the original on September 11, 2002. Retrieved March 20, 2015.
  8. Shooman, 2010. p. 84
  9. Kyle Ryan (October 8, 2013). "Blink-182 took punk to No. 1 for the first time with a masturbation pun". The A.V. Club. Retrieved October 8, 2013.
  10. Eric Aiese (September 22, 2001). "Reviews & Previews: Singles". Billboard. Vol. 113 no. 38. p. 19. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  11. William Shaw (November 23, 2002). "Breaking up is hard to do". The Observer. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  12. Barker, Travis; Edwards, Gavin (2015). Can I Say: Living Large, Cheating Death, and Drums, Drums, Drums. William Morrow. p. 158. ISBN 978-0-062-31942-5.
  13. "Stay Together for the Kids". Blink-182 – Take Off Your Pants and Jacket (Guitar Recorded Version). Hal Leonard Corporation. September 2001. ISBN 978-0634036767.
  14. "Blink-182 Stay Together for the Kids – Digital Sheet Music". Music Notes. EMI Music Publishing. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  15. Shooman, 2010. p. 97
  16. "Modern Rock Tracks". Billboard. Vol. 113 no. 38. September 22, 2001. p. 89. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  17. "Modern Rock Tracks". Billboard. Vol. 113 no. 47. November 24, 2001. p. 83. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  18. "Blink-182 Chart History – Alternative Songs". Billboard. Retrieved January 18, 2014.
  19. "Modern Rock Tracks". Billboard. Vol. 114 no. 11. March 16, 2002. p. 110. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  20. Joel Whitburn (ed.) (2005). Bubbling Under the Billboard Hot 100: 1959-2004. Menomonee Falls: Record Research, 352 pp. First edition, 2005.
  21. "BDSCertified Spin Awards". Billboard. Vol. 114 no. 25. June 22, 2002. p. 2. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  22. "Offiziellecharts.de – Blink 182 – Stay Together for the Kids". GfK Entertainment Charts. Retrieved October 30, 2018.
  23. Rob Sheffield (June 11, 2001). "Take Off Your Pants and Jacket: Review". Rolling Stone. No. 871. New York City: Wenner Media LLC. ISSN 0035-791X. Archived from the original on September 28, 2013. Retrieved February 14, 2013.
  24. Aaron Scott (June 29, 2001). "Take Off Your Pants and Jacket: Review". Slant Magazine. Archived from the original on April 2, 2015. Retrieved February 14, 2013.
  25. Jon Wiederhorn (November 5, 2001). "Blink-182 To Show Up On Mad TV, Will 'Stay Together' For Next Video". MTV News. Retrieved April 28, 2013.
  26. Jeffrey Melnick (2009). 9/11 Culture. Hoboken: Wiley-Blackwell, 200 pp. First edition.
  27. Corey Moss (August 22, 2001). "Blink-182 Return To '70s In 'First Date' Video". MTV News. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  28. Shooman, Joe (June 24, 2010). Blink-182: The Bands, The Breakdown & The Return. Independent Music Press. ISBN 978-1-906191-10-8.
  29. Ben Myers (November 17, 2001). "Blink 182: The Only Way is Down!". Kerrang!. No. 155. London: Bauer Media Group. pp. 12–16. ISSN 0262-6624.
  30. "For The Record: Quick News On Alicia Keys, The Calling, Funkmaster Flex, Blink-182, Mos Def, Violent Femmes & More". MTV News. April 10, 2002. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  31. Christopher Bell (April 15, 2011). "Review: 'Armadillo' Is A Stark Portrait Of War That Asks Tough Questions". IndieWire. Retrieved March 18, 2015.
  32. "Swisscharts.com – Blink 182 – Stay Together for the Kids". Swiss Singles Chart. Retrieved April 6, 2015.
  33. "Blink-182 Chart History (Bubbling Under Hot 100)". Billboard.

Sources
  • Shooman, Joe (June 24, 2010). Blink-182: The Bands, The Breakdown & The Return. Independent Music Press. ISBN 978-1-906191-10-8.
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